Lessons From The Valley

The last week and a half has really been awful. It started with Kari getting sick and developing stroke like symptoms and having her in the hospital for 9 days.  Then Kimmi got sick and started vomiting and then Becca started the next day the night before we were supposed to be moving.  All night.  So I moved after 2 hours of sleep.  I hit a point where I thought of the seen in the movie The Little Rascals, where Alfalfa is having a bad day and he looks up at the sky and says, “…and the sky opened up and God looked down and said, ‘I hate you Alfalfa’.”  Here’s the clip (about 5 minutes in, but the whole clip is great) That’s how I felt.  I  was wondering what I did I do to make God so mad.  I even hit a point where I was in full self-pity mode and thinking I was Job.

But I ‘m not Job.  I’m just I guy that had a bad couple of weeks.  God tells us in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  This doesn’t mean He makes the situations good.  But he works for the good; doing what is good for us. In other words, in all things no matter what the situation, good or bad, he works within us to bring good within us.  It’s a promise that He will continue to do the work He started in us and the situation doesn’t matter.

For instance, after I was done with my pity party, I learned some things this past week.  I learned some things that truly humbled me.  I learned that I am blessed were blessings count most.  I learned that I have a wonderful wife and I need to acknowledge it more.  I often give Kari a hard time about not getting as much done as I think she should.  You know what they say, “you don’t know what you have until you have lost it”.  Well this week I was running like a chicken with it’s head cut off and I realized how much she does.  I found a new appreciation for her and all the hard work she does.  I apologized to her and told her how great she was.  Although I’m not sure if she remembers it with all the drugs they had her on.  I also learned that I have a loving family of believers around me.  I was humbled by the multitude of prayer and support this week. We had people praying, watching the girls, visiting Kari in the hospital and moving us to Burnsville.  I even had family drive 800 miles to help with the kids.  I am truly blessed.

So what’s the point?  The point is this; don’t let the situation distract you from the blessing of God in your life.  He is active and working, for our good, each and every day.  He uses life and the situations of life, good and bad, to mold us and shapes into the likeness of Jesus.

I’ll leave with this promise: “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”  James 1:12

From The Mouth of Babes

Sanctity of Human Life

During this month I believe that we should all renew our resolve for the sanctity of human life.  Since abortion was legalised over 45 million babies have been murdered.  Focus on the family have done a 2 part series that I think everyone should take the time to listen to.

Part 1

Part 2

Grand Terino

This past Monday, with all the commotion of Kari being in the hospital, I messed up my work schedule in my head.  So I showed up to work at 9:30am and wasn’t supposed to be there until 4pm!  Not a good start to the day.  Well, it was snowing and I had a lot of time to kill so I decided to use a gift card I had and go to a movie.  I saw Grand Terino.

**CAUTION**

Quick warning.  The movie does have language and racist comments, so if you are sensitive to that don’t watch it.  It actually would not have been as good of a movie without it.  It is necessary to paint the character that Eastwood plays.  Also, if you are planning to watch the movie do not read the rest of this post! I will be discussing the main point of the movie.  Come back and read after you see it.  OK you have been warned

Clint Eastwood plays a character that is a war vet and has spent the rest of his life working the Ford lines.  Thus the Grand Terino.  One would think that since the movie was titled after the car that it would be about the car, but it’s not.  Anyways, he is retired and the movie starts at his wife’s funeral.  Now I’m not going to explain the movie in detail.  I’m not a critic.  But what really hit me in this movie was important and I think it is worth sharing.  After his wife’s death, the priest that spent time with her before she died comes to see him.  He tells him that his wife made him promise to get Clint to go to confession.  Clint being the old fart that he is, blows him off.  Over and over the priest comes to him trying to get him to confession.  The whole time, through the dialog it seems that he made a huge mistake that he can’t forgive himself for and it is shared within the contexts of all the awful things he did in Vietnam.  However, at the end (remember I told you not to read this if you hadn’t seen it), he builds a rapport with the priest and he goes to the confession.  And then the bomb drops.  The sin that was unforgivable; that was eating at him and made him the bitter man that he was….. can you stand the suspense?  His unforgivable sin?  He didn’t know his children and they didn’t know him.  They grew up with him, they visited him, but they had no relationship.  At the end of his life the biggest regret was not having a real relationship with his kids and their families.  This hit me like a ton of bricks.

Most of you, that would be reading this, know that my dad was there but not there in my life.  Two things tweeked my heart.  One, does my dad regret missing a lifetime of knowing me and I him?  Like Clint does he want it to change but not know how?  Part of me hopes so.  Part of me would be afraid that I wouldn’t know where to start either.  Secondly, it made me reflect on my relationship with my own kids and I realized that I have more lost moments than I care to have.  I too often rely on Kari to inform me about my children, rather than talk with my children and get to know them first hand.  This was a wake up call to me.  Dads we get busy with life; work, bills, honey do lists, hobbies, etc.  It’s natural, we’re task oriented. But in the end I think we all will look back at the same thing.  Do we know our children and do they know us?  How do we start?  It’s been said that a jug is filled one drop at a time.  I think we need to be intentional each day to invest in our relationship with our kids.  It’s not the big events like vacations and family days, it’s the small drops each day that fill us with the knowledge of others.  It’s the “how was your day” and mean it moments.  The playing a game together, doing choirs together, let them doing things with you when it would be easier to not have them “in the way”. I think you get the point.

Looking Back

2008 was a hard year for me and my family.  I have been thinking about this post for awhile.  (Since before Christmas) So many others have written on their blogs and have talked about their great memories or all that God had done for them or through them.  I honestly look back at 2008 and at first, second and third glance I wish I could hit the delete button.

A year ago, we were becoming a family of six, pastoring a church, had multiple incomes and moving toward what I thought was bigger and better things.  That all changed rather quickly.  Tori decided that she didn’t want to be adopted and instead of just saying so; she made up some terrible lies that we only recently found out the specifics on.  In the process of that happening, communication between us and the county broke down and they decided to place Cameron in another home.  At that point we turned in our license and told them to never call us again.  It all happened so fast.

Emotionally I was hit by an atomic bomb.  I decided to resign from the church.  I didn’t feel that I could serve the church as it needed in the condition I was in.  I became numb, and in the process I closed in on myself.  Unfortunately, I allowed much of my life to run on auto pilot.  The problem with that is that life doesn’t have an auto pilot.  Who knew!  As the year progressed, my life began to fall apart from neglect.  My relationships weakened, our finances withered, and my passion (for anything) dimmed.  2008 felt like a very dark time to me.

However, as I have been reflecting on 2008, I found myself looking through pictures taken over the year and there was a lot of good too.  God reminded me through them that He remains faithful and good no matter what our circumstances.  Through reflection I also see now that I was living primarily on my own strength and His only as a backup.  He has used this year to strip me down and bring me to a point to where I have to rely on Him as my primary strength each day.

When I look forward to 2009, I am both scarred and excited.  I’m scared about the “what if’s”, all the things that could happen or might not happen.  But I’m excited because He has breathed new strength into my faith and the “what if’s” don’t look quite that big anymore.  They say that 2009 is the year of change and hope.  In my life I believe that to be true.  Perhaps as the year unfolds I will expound on the change and hope God is bringing to my life.

Until then may you all have a blessed year.